By Loic Le Meur
My own addiction: my iPhone sleeps next to my bed and I check email when I wake up. I have troubles to read a chapter of a book without checking my emails, my chat messages or comments on Facebook. It’s extremely difficult for me to not check my phone when I’m at dinner with friends just in case something “important” shows up. I have troubles to concentrate. I have not even been able to write this without looking at what’s happening online.
Why have we become digital douche-bags not paying attention to the best people and moments in our lives?
The fear of missing something cool
You’re with your friends or your family or you’re at a cool party but you cannot help thinking “is there something cooler around me happening” and “should I join it”? If you have been to the SXSW conference in Austin you know exactly what I am talking about. Everyone is at a party wondering what is the next party they should be at. They go there and start wondering again and it keeps going until you go to bed.
We all need love
Likes on Facebook. Comments on something you shared. Text messages. Even a flow of emails makes you feel important. Who has never said “I got so many emails today” even if most of them are irrelevant or even marketing newsletters you will never pay attention to. It helps you feel loved and that you matter somehow. Even if it’s crap.
There is no other way around it
Try not answering your emails and getting text messages. It will work if you don’t do any business and it will fail if you need anything done. How else are you going to organize that project, meeting, dinner, anything? Send snail-mail? Call the old traditional way? Forget it. Even if you try you’re going to be sucked-in again because there is no other way.
We’re weak
You’re not? I am. It’s torture not to check my emails constantly in case there is anything I should pay attention to (the result is I’m obviously wasting a ton of time reading crap I should not pay any attention to). There is always something happening. It’s like getting addicted to drinking or smoking, fortunately I avoided both so far (okay some red wine daily but I’m French, you know).
It’s just normal
What’s new is that it’s become totally acceptable socially to keep checking our phones, it wasn’t that way not a so long time ago. It’s okay. Everyone does it. That’s why everyone does it even more.
We want to save the best moments of our lives
That’s not new and this is why cameras were so popular before the smartphones were around. The best camera is the one you have in your pocket and now you always have your smartphone camera in your pocket. Saving that birthday video or this dinner picture will make you happier because that memory isn’t gone forever. What’s tricky though is that not taking that video or that picture might have made you enjoy that moment more and therefore made you happier.
What can we do about it?
Meditate
You probably think it’s a Hippie-San Francisco thing that you should not care about, but I have started meditating and I love it. It gives me space away from anything else than my thoughts for about twenty minutes a day, it’s not such a big time investment and I get amazing ideas out of it. I love it.
Go to events that are designed to keep you away from your devices
I went to Burning Man two years in a row. No wifi and no cellphone coverage. No time (no one has a watch). No money (it’s a gift economy) and no advertising or branding. Burning Man is the best vacation from our connected world and it’s also the most creative place on Earth. I also went to Summit in UTAH, a community of entrepreneur and artists who gathered in a mountain this past July, it was awesome especially because there was no cell coverage. There is Digital Detox that was launched specifically for this. A members only club just launched in San Francisco called “The Battery”, I just joined. No devices allowed. More offline time means I will be getting used to it.
Behave
Even if you cannot resist, just do not look at your phone. Keep it in your pocket. Focus on the friend or person in front of you. Talk to a stranger. I know it’s scary. Enjoy, you might be surprised how much you like it.
All in all, I think we’re becoming better people with all our devices. For example, I save anything important to myself to Evernote and I cannot live without it, it’s a very valuable assistant to my brain. I think this is making me a better person just because my brain’s memory is limited and Evernote isn’t. I get to save and recover my ideas anywhere anytime and from any device, this is priceless. It’s just an example of course.
I don’t think we need to get rid of our devices, we need to “just” make sure we put them away daily and be respectful to those who matter the most, our family and friends. I’m an optimistic person, we will figure it out.
This post contains a powerful message. It's time this message went viral. Basil Venitis, venitis@gmail.com, http://themostsearched.blogspot.com, @Venitis
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